Death Does Not Make Sense

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Seeing all these deaths. Once-living individuals, being grieved and mourned, one after the other. Day after day, without rest. Without a comma. I came to the conclusion that death, never felt this normal. There’s just too much. Us, tired and bored. And because of that, most deceased never got their due respect. They just die.

I have never fully grasped the reality surrounding deaths. But at the same time, I wanted to understand it. So, this is somewhat a way for me to try and make sense of it. So bear with me for a while. Or not, it’s up to you. I don’t mind. Because I never intended this writing to make sense in the first place.

What happens after we die? I’m not going to talk about the dead. Let’s focus on the living first. We die, they grieve. We die, they move on. And for most deaths… forgotten. Our task is to remember. To keep them living for as long as possible. Living as long as our memory allows and as long as our priority allows. It is a form of respect and a reminder for us, that the living will someday, die.

Death is a commotion. It’s far from being quiet. It’s full of sounds: cries, chatter, and footsteps of the grieving. Though I have to say that not all deaths are noisy. Some, do die peacefully in the literal sense. With nobody mourning, nobody talking about them. But it does not matter, for death is a lonely business. And friends were never an addon in the menu.

Death is also about longing. Death meant that we are to be separated permanently from a loved one. A barrier that is real yet ethereal. Longing for the deceased is absent of a cure. The feeling stayed in the background, waiting for a period of weakness, before showing itself unannounced. Inflicting wounds, that were bound to be opened again, never fully healed.

I often find people experiencing the death of a loved one describing their experience as unreal. “It does not feel real,” they say. Living in this temporary world, we forget that we will be departing. We never expected it to be arriving so soon. We refuse to believe. We thought that death comes with a gentle knock. When in reality, it brutally kicks our front door and split it in two. But it’s normal and with time, we’ll accept that death is the only direction we’re heading. And for me, living the most out of our time in this world, cherishing our time with our loved ones is the only way to be grateful for the things that we were given.

5.45 AM
kl 7–7–2021

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